January by Jude Ouvrard

Author:Jude Ouvrard [Ouvrard, Jude]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-03-08T05:00:00+00:00

* * *

Although we had spent an amazing day at her place, our first night here was tough. For me, anyway. I woke up from a nightmare in the middle of the night and I was disoriented as hell. Waking Jane wasn’t an option as I didn’t want her to see my true colors yet. Lost, shaking, and a mix of sweat and tears covering my face. I got out of the room by crawling on the floor. The images of my dream made me sick in my stomach. Even awake, it felt like my nightmare was still on and I couldn’t get my mind out of it. It was so real. I was in the middle of an attack. Women and children dying everywhere around me and the troops. The panic around us, the firings, the screaming, everything seemed real.

I vomited in the bathroom until my stomach was empty and then some.

Jane never woke up and I’m very thankful for that.

I went back to bed drained and shaken. Exhaustion hit me hard and I fell asleep next to my woman.

Tomorrow, when I wake up, I have to get my sleeping pills. Going back to nightmares isn’t part of the plan. It’s enough to send me back in the dark hole and it’s a no can do. Next time, I may not be able to tell apart what’s real and what isn’t.

Jane let me sleep in, or maybe she did try to wake me up and failed.

After enjoying a late breakfast together for the first time in her new home, Jane has to get few things done on her computer for work, so I stroll through her house and try to make a list of what needs to be fixed.

I’ve noticed that there’s a picture of me, Fynn, or all of us in almost every room of the house. One in the bedroom I don’t remember being taken, and that sucks. It looks so meaningful. I can tell it’s right before I left on my last tour. We’re kissing goodbye. My hands lay over the small of her back and hers around my neck. I have no memory of that kiss. I wonder how many moments like this I’ve lost. I hold the frame in my hands and keep my eyes on it hoping the memories return. Jane’s hair was much longer in this picture and absolutely sexy.

“There you are!” Jane sings, smiling at me. This is such a beautiful sight.

“Why did you cut your hair?” Not that she has to justify her action to me. She’s free, but I’m curious. For as long as I can remember, Jane has had long hair, almost to her waist. Curly and natural, it became her trademark.

She looks surprised by my question. “Sometimes a woman needs change and it was for a good cause.” She runs both hands into her hair, loosening her curls.

I smile. “Okay.” I shake my head. What difference does it make anyway? Her hair is still long and pretty.

“Why?” She takes the frame out of my hand and places it back on the bookshelf.

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